One Way to Get Back at Men Who Sexually Harass You Online

One Way to Get Back at Men Who Sexually Harass You Online

Anna Gensler is a brave badass of a woman.

I’ve written before how disgusting guys can be when hitting on women online – especially when hidden behind a computer screen. Crude sex talk, inartful come-ons, sordid imagery, violent threats. It’s all in a day’s work for women who choose to engage with men on dating apps and sites.

Enter Ms. Gensler, an artist, who received so much of this aggressive unwanted attention that she chose to fight back.

Anna Gensler is a brave badass of a woman.

She would draw the sexual harasser naked, add on a tiny penis, and post it on her Instagram feed. Talk about fighting fire with fire.

I’ll admit, I have no understanding of a man who writes to a stranger to tell her he’s going to rape her and cum on her face. But I also have no sympathy for him either.

In the words of my daughter in regards to my son: “HE started it!”

Yes, he did. And Ms. Gensler is finishing it. I’ll be the first to acknowledge that an eye for an eye leaves everyone blind.

Talk about fighting fire with fire.

But what IS the proper way to handle men who strike fear into the hearts of women from across a computer screen if not to give them a taste of their own medicine?

Your thoughts, below, are greatly appreciated.

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17 Comments

  1. Valeri R. Bush

    Hmmm…let me think.  Oh, I know!  Ignore, block, forget!  Works every time.

  2. Her instagram is golden. Hopefully, Evan, it also gives you some perspective: these ARE the less smart, less educated, less everything men you are advocating that we should date. Not saying they are all like that, but a much higher percentage of them are (compared to say Harvard PhDs population).
    We, as women, know that – and this is why you get so much pushback on this issue

  3. GoWiththeFlow

    OMG! Her instagram is hysterical!  Way to go Anna!  I needed a laugh today ????
    Awhile back I read an article about an instagram called Bye, Felipe! Where women can post the gross and inappropriate things guys say to them online or via social media.

  4. CaliforniaGirl

    I never got any really bad messages in my 1.5 years on Tinder, OkCupid and Match. The worst thing was when a guy wrote to me that I am fat and ugly after he messaged me 3 times and on fourth time I replied that I am not interested.  Somehow I believe that women who get harassed online choose to engage in conversations with certain types of males and they are just provoking them. And you can say as much as you want that men have no right to harass women online or elsewhere and it’s not women’s fault but you can avoid certain situations because that’s how the world is and all you can do is to be safe. If I took invitations from drunk guys who invited me to join them in their limos or parties, I could put myself in trouble. And after the fact I could yell all I want that they didn’t have a right to touch or rape and it’s not my fault. But I could prevent it and not go with them and who cares who is right after the fact.
    After last elections I guess I just need to carry pepper spray all the time because I already heard men laughing how now they can do whatever our President is doing and get away with it.
     

  5. You’re absolutely right. We can’t control the behavior of other people, but we can control what kind of people we chose to associate with, online and offline.
    When i tried out Tinder after my divorce I did not get any of the messages like these at all, not one. Why? I don’t know. May be it had to do with me really really filtering the ones that I swiped right on. This is on Tinder, she did swipe right on these creeps, they didn’t just randomly end up in her inbox. Tinder links to FB and displays people’s education and work history. Pictures/profile tell the rest of the story. half-naked bathroom selfies? ghetto gold/hat? Pitbull in photos? Partying hard with bros? Bad spelling? Lacking education or relevant career? Swipe left. On the other hand… Good school/job? Golden retriever owner? Skiing in Utah with friends? Tasteful headshot? Swipe right. Works, i think.
     

  6. CaliforniaGirl

    I looked at her instagram, she is clearly provoking them. Why even reply to any of this? Ah, so she can post it and draw attention. She swiped right on a guy with bathroom selfie and then she is lashing out on him about that? Just a little not very smart girl.

  7. This is in line with my suspicions.  Brave, she is not.

  8. Oh may be too smart. Controversy sells and she’s a cartoonist. Time is writing an article about her, instagram followers multiply => good for business

  9. CaliforniaGirl

    And the amount of those guys and messages??? Looks like she intentionally chooses them. Sorry, I don’t feel for her.

  10. I’m trying to understand the disconnect:  the women I dated online said they really never had these types of encounters.  Why is it that we continually see articles featuring women like this?  What is different about these situations?  Finally, she apparently warned potential matches that she would draw these pictures if she received an inappropriate message. Could she not see how this would invite trolling behavior?

  11. CaliforniaGirl

    She just wants followers on her Instagram, can’t you see? ???? I never experienced anything even remotely close to what she posted and none of my girlfriends as well. Yeah, sometimes I get “Hey, sexy” or “You look hot” but I never reply, so it dies right there. You can see and feel a guy’s behavior from his profile/pictures and first message.

  12. Men (or women) who behave badly don’t deserve my attention. Next!

  13. I never experienced this stuff online…it is way too easy to block or ignore someone so I don’t understand investing energy into this sort of thing. Of course I experienced a couple of comments and got my share of erect penis pictures in general but modern technology has made it way too easy to just have them disappear with a click of a button.
    And Stacy2, perverts come with all sorts of degrees (Anthony Weiner anyone?). Formal education has nothing to do with it.

  14. “And Stacy2, perverts come with all sorts of degrees (Anthony Weiner anyone?). Formal education has nothing to do with it”.
    Thank you, Stacy#1 ????

  15. “perverts come with all sorts of degrees”
    That is shocking… but wait, did I ever claim otherwise? Don’t think so.

  16. It gets so old. I just shake my head at the messages I get and I never respond. I want to date, not expose myself to harassment, but that’s what I get.
    It’s a sad state right now. I wonder, who raised these men? Certainly not a man of integrity.

  17. I report them to the website people (most, if not all dating sites have a report option) and then block them. If they get enough people reporting them, I assume they’ll be warned/ reprimanded/kicked off, and then they don’t have access to women online, so that’s their punishment.
    @California Girl “Somehow I believe that women who get harassed online choose to engage in conversations with certain types of males and they are just provoking them”
    Unfortunately, that’s untrue. Your experience isn’t everyone’s experience. I once had  a guy on a site where you can message anyone write a deplorable message to me out of the blue, completely unprompted. I responded (to give him notice) that if he wrote another message like that I would report him, and to let him know (as he was new to the site), that if he continued to talk to women like that he would probably be reprimanded or blocked from the site. I did that as I didn’t want anyone else to be spoken to like that.
    He wrote another horrible message and so I reported him. Then blocked him. No doubt he did it to other women too. No provoking needed.

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